How did Yeshua treat Narcissists?

 

Yeshua facing the Narcissists

Narcissists are like mirrors without a reflection: when you meet them, all you receive is coldness, silence, criticism, or a distorted versions of yourself. They always manage to turn the table and make you feel guilty. They drain you until you're exhausted. When you give, they take without measure. When you explain, they distort. When you suffer, they pretend to help and belittle you. When you tell them the truth, they play the victim, and you begin to question who you are and whether you're right or wrong. This is how you come to believe that you are the problem.

Very often, those who break you the most are those you thought you could trust or those to whom you gave the most and loved the most, without realizing they were killing your soul.

However, genuine love doesn't consist of accepting everything, but rather in setting healthy boundaries, and above all, in loving oneself healthily, recognizing the Light of the genuine Being that has been given to us, and not precisely to be trampled underfoot: you are the Light of the Cosmos; a city set on a hill cannot be hidden (John 8:12).

The Spirit of Truth exposes those who pretend to love, but manifest darkness with falsehood and murder, trying to extinguish the Light of other souls.

The Spirit of Truth exposes those who pretend to love but manifest falsehood and soul-death.

If someone says “I love you,” but makes you feel small, used, or invaded, they don't truly love you. They are emotionally abusing you, pretending to be good when deep down they are a pathetic person.

So how can we deal with narcissistic people?

Yeshua had to deal with dangerous narcissists, and the New Testament is the only sacred book that demonstrates how to deal with them.

1. He never hid, but instead, he confronted the lies of those who ruled the masses, even with false religious doctrines.

Look, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16).

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you” (Luke 10:19).

The Master trusted the human capacity for transformation but didn't trust just anyone nor overestimated people because he knew the hidden motives of humanity, especially those of narcissists, who pretend to be good, when they are hypocrites who praise and then behave in contradictory ways. Being loving is not being naive. That is why it was written:

But Yeshua himself would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people and did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for he knew what was in each person (John 2:24-25).

2. The Master set boundaries even with those closest to him, but not with hatred, rather with Truth and conscious Love. In Mark 3, he appears healing and teaching in a house, but his family arrived saying that he had lost his mind. So he made it clear that he did not follow the will of humans, not even biological relatives, for true family is that which comes from God.

Your mother and your brothers are outside, looking for you. He replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those seated around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35)

3. The Master confronted religious power, especially that of the Pharisees, who were clearly narcissistic, for they loved control, desired to be the center of attention, worshipped flattery, and wielded accusations that led to guilt and deception, twisting everything to their advantage and turning the Law into a weapon to attack others.

But the Master did not engage in arguments with them or become enraged; instead, he publicly exposed them with a healthy dose anger:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!” For you tithe mint, dill, and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faith…Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, so that the outside also may be clean (Matthew 23:23-26).

Why do you not understand my language? Because you cannot hear my word. You belong to your father, the accuser (Diabolos), and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him (John 8:43-44).

And do not call anyone on earth your father, for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called teachers, for you have one Teacher (Matthew 23:9-10)

4. Narcissists feed on your need for peace and resolution; they thrive by keeping you emotionally entangled, waiting for you to chase them, explain yourself, give in and surrender.

But the Master didn't beg for love or chased those who didn't follow or love him; he didn't play the role of savior. If someone chooses to leave, let them leave. You can't change someone who is willing to remain the same.

If anyone doesn't welcome you or listen to your words, leave that house or town and shake the dust off your feet (Luke 9:5).

Those who reject you for defending the Truth are actually distancing themselves from the Light that harms them. And narcissists fear those who make them feel inferior.

5. Narcissists will use your empathy and kindness to keep you around: they will cry, tell you sad stories to bring your compassion, and fake kindness only to revert to their old patterns.

In contrast, the Master showed compassion but never codependency toward those who were most deeply mired in suffering but never listened to him. He did not take responsibility for those who refuse to change, like the sick at the Pool of Bethesda, where they waited to be healed by an angel descending into the waters:

And a man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Yeshua saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:5-6)

6. Forgiveness is always necessary, for even the Master forgave those who murdered his body: “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” he said.

But forgiveness does not require surrendering your life to those who destroy it, for that empowers evil, and we did not come to support the Adversary.

The Master never allowed people who didn't change and rejected the Truth into his life. He was able to forgive, but at the same time, he walked away, following his own path.

7. Narcissists feed on the flattery of others, on being the center of attention, on other people's reactions, and on the loss of your own peace.

In contrast, the Master never allowed his popularity or accusations from others to ruin his life. He didn't live to be flattered or validated externally, nor to fall into other people's schemes.

But his fame spread all the more, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. But he often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. (Luke 5:15-16)

8. He always taught his followers to be humble, but also to raise their self-esteem, turning away from all false doctrines based on sin, accusation, and karma. Those who transform their mind and heart through metanoia (meta-consciousness) recognize a new nature, the New Adam:

I am the Light of the Cosmos (John 8:12)

You are the Light of the Cosmos (Matthew 5:14)

I am the true Vine, and you are the branches (John 15)

And a man blind from birth passed by. And his disciples asked him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Yeshua answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9)

Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29)